Updated: Original article published March 5, 2015
Elaine Lowry Brye is a mom who knows about letting go. Like many moms, she cried when her kids left home, wishes they’d call and write more, and spends sleepless nights worrying about them. But Elaine’s tears and concerns are even more poignant than most mothers’—because Elaine is the mom of four military officers, one each in the Air Force, Army, Navy, and Marines.
An Army brat turned ROTC candidate turned military wife, Elaine never expected her kids to have a call to serve, and certainly didn’t expect all four to join up. Three of her kids—two sons and a daughter—attended the Naval Academy, and it was there that Elaine got her own calling: she joined the Naval Academy Parents’ Listserv, and began a 17-year journey of helping moms and dads adjust to their strange, new, lonely lives as military parents.
The following is a special message from Elaine to Fellow Military Parents:
These are the days when I become weary. It is not just the piles of snow lining my driveway or the ice covered sidewalks. The cold grey days don’t add to my spirits but they are not the cause of my malaise. It was another snow day today. That used to be cause for cheer in my farmhouse filled with children. A day to sled down the hill above the creek and to skate on the pond (after I checked the ice of course!) And the favorite activity –build a fire in the snow for hot chocolate and some mores and sit on well crafted ice benches. But those children are spread all over the world now. Instead of snowsuits and knitted hats they wear flight suits and body armor.
Eight deployments and another looming-with four children in the military, one in each branch, the multiplier effect can magnify the weariness that comes with being a military mom. I thought perhaps once my children were no longer toddlers I would begin to sleep through the night. But bad dreams and monsters under the bed lingered for a while. Then there were the teenage years where I lay awake waiting to hear the crunch of gravel on the driveway. And now –well you understand-glimpses of news reports and flickers of fear can wake us at the most ungodly hours.
But I know I am not alone. You are out there scattered across the country-even the world. You are my Sisters in service. You know the immense pride that comes from raising children with honor and a desire to serve and protect our nation. You know the pain of losing control of your precious child and the worries you store in the invisible backpack we all carry. I wrote my book “ Be Safe Love Mom: A Military Moms stories of Courage, Comfort, and Surviving Life on the Homefront” for you.
I hope to encourage, inspire you and remind you we are in this together. THE BOOK as I fondly call it, was published on March 31, 2015. It chronicles my experiences as an Army Brat, veteran, and military mom. Along with other moms’ voices we celebrate the unique bonds of the Sisterhood of Military Moms and also share the tough stuff that comes with loving a military service member. Our friends and neighbors need to know the sacrifices we make, whether it is not having our children be able to come home for visits, or have them changed in mind and body forever as the result of their duty to country.
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Thank you to the leadership of HH6 Camo Chix for the opportunity to share my story and become part of your community. I invite you all to come visit me on my Facebook page Be Safe Love Mom and share more stories and support.
Just thinking about you getting a chance to read the book and connect with each makes me smile. Things look a lot brighter now-want to build a snowman? Hot chocolate anyone?
Be Brave and Be Strong
Love,
Momma Brye
Elaine Lowry Brye is an avid supporter of and advocate for military families, served as a longtime moderator for the USNA-Parents listserv and was one of the founding organizers of its parent community website and Facebook page. She became a national figure when she introduced Michelle Obama at the 2012 Democratic Convention. She lives with her husband in northeast Ohio.