Tips for Maintaining a Happy Household in the Military

Flexibility is key for maintaining a happy household in the military.
Flexibility is key for maintaining a happy household in the military.

Maintaining a happy household in a military family means being flexible, keeping love front and center, and taking care of someone very important — YOU.

Be Flexible

When do we PCS? Do we have orders yet? Where will we go to church? Will I find a job there? How are the schools? Will we have a good command?  How will I ever find friends like the ones I have now? All these questions are great, but here’s the reality: THINGS CHANGE, and there is nothing you can do to plan for that. Moves get postponed and orders get cancelled. It happens. And when it happens, it sucks. (My grandmother – God rest her soul – despised that term, but it works for me.)  We get upset, angry, and frustrated with the uncertainty of military life, but the reality is, being a military spouse is a balancing act. What helps me cope and maintain a happy household  is the knowledge that I’m not alone; we’re all in this together. 

Keep Love Front and Center

When you get married, you become a team – one that vows to stick together for “better or worse,” and in the military, you’ll face both. Leaving your family and friends is hard, but you take their love with you. Just mix that with the love you have for one another, and you’ll have the cornerstone for a happy household wherever the military sends you. Remember, love is the glue that helps you get through!

Take Care of YOU:

Taking care of yourself is a vital to a happy household in the military.  It took me years to realize that if I wasn’t functioning properly, then neither was my family.  Days filled with chores, tasks, errands, meetings, work, practices, committees and activities means little time is left over for yourself.  And deployments. Ugh — let’s just say it’s easy to get into a rut during deployments.

Bottom line: you need to make “you” time a priority.  If you feel good about yourself, then everything — and everyone — around you will feel better too.

I know, I know, who has the time to focus on themselves? And who really cares what you look like?

You’d be surprised. I will never forget an important lesson I learned in college — from a group of preschoolers, no less! While enrolled in an early childhood education class, our professor assigned us work with a group of preschoolers for two weeks. For the first week, we were instructed to show up well-groomed  (think best foot forward/interview attire). The following week we were told to show up as-is (basically roll out of bed, throw on whatever and out the door you go.)

The difference in how those kids received me was astounding. That second week, I noticed that the children were less attentive and not as quick to respond to my direction. I realized then that if I want the respect of others, even young children, I must first show them that I respect myself.

 

 

 

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