Free time? What’s that?!
Before I had children, I had all the free time in the world – it was an endless commodity even I was going to school and working at a job. I could come home and basically do what I wanted when I wanted. If I wanted to hit the beach, I’d pack up my magazines, towel, and water, and be gone for the entire day. My husband and I could go out to eat AND a movie or go for drinks. And we stayed out way past 8:00pm! I know – crazy, right?
Then, once our daughter was born, everything changed. Don’t get me wrong, we still did fun things together, I mean, a newborn sleeps away a good 16 hours of every day. But adding a baby to the mix definitely changed everything.
Before having kids a day at the beach meant we could enjoy eight hours of “vacation time” away from the day-to-day responsibilities. After baby, a day at the beach was still an all-day affair, just with a few tweaks. It still took the entire day between packing for an infant, protecting her from the sun and tending to her needs, but when all was said and done, only two hours of the day (if we were lucky) was actually spent ON the beach. I’m not complaining, mind you; those two hours of family time were GLORIOUS and I wouldn’t change a thing, but the concept of “free time” certainly did take on a whole new meaning!
Sleeping on the job is a good thing!
As a family of three, our late nights turned into getting the baby to bed and then watching TV on the couch for a couple of hours, although more often than not, the TV usually ended up watching us. “Free time” with a baby became synonymous with bedtime or naptime. Oh glorious nap time!
I have learned to value naps as a scared gift – a time to get things done, think my own thoughts, or even snag a little slice of “me” time. I treasured naptime and mourned its passing when my daughter outgrew it, but I learned to come up with creative ways to keep her “entertained and contained,” thanks to that miracle invention known as the “Pack-n-Play.”
Eventually, the tweaks to daily life with a child became habit, and things became much easier. Three mornings a week we went to stroller strides, and the other two mornings we ran errands or met up with friends, and afternoons centered on naptime. All was right in the world. And then we decided to have another baby!!
Time Management
By the time our son came along, our daughter had been going to daycare twice a week (full days) for about 1 ½ years. She loves “school,” thankfully, and so do I, because it gives me time to catch up on chores, spend a couple of hours sewing or crafting, or just take a short break from being “Mommy” to reconnect with “Leslie.” But I digress…
After our son was born, those first two months were a little tough, as newborns are needy creatures. Thankfully, my husband was able to take a couple weeks off to help. He kept Claire happy and occupied, and in doing so, he probably saved my sanity! Now, Ryan is 5 months old and we are finding our groove as a family of four. We have fallen into new daily routines and I’ve found ways to carve out small pockets of time to get things done. Naptime, though, is still golden. It’s the optimum time to get things done – to cross things off the endless “to do” list. . We still go to stroller strides 3 mornings a week, and when we get home, I make sure the kids are fed and attempt to get Ryan to sleep. This is no easy task, as my son has an aversion to sleeping when it’s light out, but once he is asleep, I can squeeze in a shower, laundry, cleaning, or even some snuggle time with Claire. Want to talk time-management skills? Let me tell you, you can get A LOT done in an hour!
Time is precious; spend it wisely — on those you love
I have learned so much from both my children, especially that it is important to value the time you have. Parenthood may be all-consuming at times, but I would not change a thing; not for all the free time in the world.
Those awesome date nights we used to have? They still happen, but now they are carefully orchestrated events that involve my parents (God love them) visiting for the weekends. To be sure, there can never be enough dates, but as a couple, we have learned to cherish those times we get to escape together.
And those movies depicting parents out on a date but talking about their kids the whole time? That is totally us! We do manage to get some “adult” conversation in, but it somehow always comes back to children.
I have heard other parents complain about not having the time to do anything – that they don’t get to go out like they used to, and I must confess that it riles me up a bit. I mean, really, what did they think would happen when they had kids?
In the military, there is no such thing as a “family friendly” schedule. My soldier often works long hours – and we won’t even mention that the nature of his job can mean long periods of time away. So, at night when the kids are in bed, we make it a point to make the most of the time we have – to enjoy each other, to talk about the day, and maybe even watch some grown-up TV. (Sorry Disney Junior, but after 7:00pm you’re history!).
So, with all the craziness that is military life and raising a family, do I wish I had more “free time?”
Nope! While I always value “me time,” I’ve learned that time with your family is never “free,” and time spent away from my kids is time I’ll never get back. Granted, we can’t spend every second with our kids, but the time we DO get with them is priceless.
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